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An open letter to parents about dating



In shona language is a proverb that say nzombe huru yakabva mukurerwa, this proverb is simply saying nomatter how big you are there is a stage where you where young and was being raised be it by your family or relatives. Parents seem to forget that they were once kids and this is why they are very strict to their kids especially when they reach teenage level. Yes there is nothing wrong with that but some parents are soo hard on their kids which is why i have come up with a plan on how best they can handle their children when they reach this stage.

I believe when a child reaches twelve to thirteen years they start to develop and some will start experimenting a lot of staff.
This is the stage that most parents lose their children to the world or they take full control. Of all the things that happens during this stage, we going to discuss the issue to do with relationships. When i was in forth grade i was already approaching girls not because someone taught me but this is something that came naturally.

I made friends with this other guy that was back in 2008 and we still together. We had something in common and that was girls. Yes it sounds silly and stupid but all that contributed to our lasting friendship today with over a decade still counting. Generations differ so the idea is to handle your kids in a more smarter way than a harsh one.

Educative
From the book of Proverbs 22:6 some other versions say teach while this one say direct,
these two words have the same meaning. When someone is directing this means that they are teaching. I believe the only way that will give best results to your children is by teaching them.

The idea is to know when to teach them. If you spoil your child up to the age of fifteen then when they are sixteen and you start teaching them about life,  that can be a very difficult process.

The reason being that you did the right thing at the wrong stage. So the earlier the best. Instead of beating them teach them how they can handle their relationships. Show them both sides, the good side and the bad side of it.

Teach them with realistic examples around you and that way they will abstain from all sorts of activities. Of course children differ in so many ways. Some you tell them don't do that and they do it. I know most parents shy away from talking about s€x as if its something that doesn't exist yet they do it everyday.

This has seen a lot of African teenagers falling victim to early child marriages because they are not well equiped about this thing called s€x. Our African parents will be like don't you ever do it bla bla bla yet in first world countries most parents actually advise their kids to use protection.

This is why there is a lower rate of early child marriages in first world Countries compared to African Countries. Our parents are to blame! Also the Church plays a bigger row in this.

They say no s€x before marriage and they end there. No much information on the bad side of it then because these are teenagers who are growing, they will still do it and end up messing their lives. So parents don't wait for a religious organization to teach your children on your behalf, sit down with them and tell them the truth.

Tell them to use protection tell them to protect themselves. There are some kids who listen very well and can be willing to abstain. Encourage them every now and then to keep their virginity for this comes with a lot of benefits.

Measures
Before you beat her/him up when you see them with their partners in the streets, have you put measures in order to guide them? obviously not! Parents wake up before its too late. There are so many rules you can place to guide your children. If you put right measures surely they will glady follow them and this will help for good.

Kayfeb is one of them. Set a time frame that will guide them when to come back home. For instance if you say by 6pm gates will be locked, your kids will make sure before that time they are inside the gate.

This will save them from a lot of night activities like clubbing, partying and even engaging in criminal activities that usually take place at night. Teach them about choosing good friends who will help in shaping their dreams.

Disciplinary
Provebs 3:21-12
My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline,  and don’t be upset when he corrects you.
For the Lord corrects those he loves,just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights. When the word discipline comes in, this means its nolonger about talking but it is now an action word. In shona we say shamhu yaMwari. This means the Lord's rod

If God can descipline us then why would you parents not do the same. The idea is to know how and when to descipline them. In this post i didn't start with discipline as a first way of dealing with your children. This was going to be wrong but teaching comes first then if they don't listen you can apply descipline. Just in case you are wondering how don't worry i will show you. Before you take them to the police try. Take a rod and chasten them. 

This will always work if it is done the right way. Do not do it excessively as you may end up injuring them and may end up in prison for violating their rights. So do it wisely.

Take them to your relatives probably some one you know they fear or respect. Take them to your church elders and i am sure this one always works. If the above ways fail, then you can take them to the police i am sure they will never ever be the same again. But remember to pray for your children so that God's grace will make way in their life and they will grow in a good way.

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